Its been 3.5 months since J left and in that time I have had no reason to step on the scale. For the first couple months I was taking the boys out to eat a lot. As time passed I started feeling my clothes fitting tighter but didn't really pay much attention. Sunday I stepped on the scale for the first time in months just to see where I was, assuming that my new consistency at the gym would be helping. OH MY GOD! I'm not sure what it was helping considering the number that showed up. I have put on more than "a few" pounds since J left. I was appalled. This could not be so. Not only have I lost all the progress I made my last year in Germany but now I am right where I was after I had Animal. This is NOT good. This is NOT OK.
I will continue going to the gym 4 days a week, swimming on swim days and working out on preschool days but now I am counting calories and drinking my water. I feel confident that since the workouts have already been established in my routine I only have to add the calorie counting and water drinking. If I try to go full force right away I get bored, distracted, overwhelmed. I don't know but it doesn't work. I have continued to say I want to get the pounds off that I gained when moving back to the states. I continue to start and stop without making any progress. And to be honest maybe this is the same story all over again or maybe, just maybe I can do what I did in Germany and make progress. Finally get over the "back in the states" obstacle and reach my goal. A goal, the starting goal. The finish line is a long ways away.
Since living here I haven't had a gym routine like I did in Germany so I feel confident this is the part that was working the most against me. Well besides all the food. Bad food. Fast food. Eating out food. Food that I didn't eat very often if at all overseas. Why is America so focused on eating and consumerism? I swear that is all we do, eat and shop! Its rubbish, I know its rubbish. Yet I so easily find myself doing just those things. Scoff, I am stronger than that. I do not have to be like that. I will not be like that!