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Tuesday, September 21

Focusing...AGAIN

Its been 3.5 months since J left and in that time I have had no reason to step on the scale. For the first couple months I was taking the boys out to eat a lot. As time passed I started feeling my clothes fitting tighter but didn't really pay much attention. Sunday I stepped on the scale for the first time in months just to see where I was, assuming that my new consistency at the gym would be helping. OH MY GOD! I'm not sure what it was helping considering the number that showed up. I have put on more than "a few" pounds since J left. I was appalled. This could not be so. Not only have I lost all the progress I made my last year in Germany but now I am right where I was after I had Animal. This is NOT good. This is NOT OK.

I will continue going to the gym 4 days a week, swimming on swim days and working out on preschool days but now I am counting calories and drinking my water. I feel confident that since the workouts have already been established in my routine I only have to add the calorie counting and water drinking. If I try to go full force right away I get bored, distracted, overwhelmed. I don't know but it doesn't work. I have continued to say I want to get the pounds off that I gained when moving back to the states. I continue to start and stop without making any progress. And to be honest maybe this is the same story all over again or maybe, just maybe I can do what I did in Germany and make progress. Finally get over the "back in the states" obstacle and reach my goal. A goal, the starting goal. The finish line is a long ways away.

Since living here I haven't had a gym routine like I did in Germany so I feel confident this is the part that was working the most against me. Well besides all the food. Bad food. Fast food. Eating out food. Food that I didn't eat very often if at all overseas. Why is America so focused on eating and consumerism? I swear that is all we do, eat and shop! Its rubbish, I know its rubbish. Yet I so easily find myself doing just those things. Scoff, I am stronger than that. I do not have to be like that. I will not be like that!

4 comments:

  1. I feel your pain!! At the time I started my weight loss kick I weighed as much as I did right before Caleb was born! I have gained 40lbs since moving back to the states and it disgusts me! Ugh!
    I don't understand why I do it to myself! I am working on getting it off this time and so far I have lost about 6 pounds. It's not much but it's a start. And with it getting cooler now I plan on taking back up my walking/bike riding! We can do this!! Good luck to you! I wish you lived closer so we could go to the gym together!

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  2. You will do great! You sound extremely motivated and that's what it takes. You know what works and what doesn't for you.

    Now that you're used to being back in the states, you can get over it and do YOUR thing!

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  3. Yes, you can do it! I wish we could do ot together again.

    It is such a pain but so worth it. Stay focused!

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